The Carpool Line
The first hint of a fall breeze trickles into my gold Honda Odyssey as I reach across the passenger seat to find my carpool tag. In the rearview mirror, I see my toddler kicking his bare feet, his shoes and socks joining the army of others scattered across the floor of my minivan.
The Very Best Grocery Shopper
"Mom, you know what?" piped up my first grader from the back of the minivan. He was eating cereal from a cup on the way to school because he'd overslept and hadn't had time for breakfast at home.
The Introvert In Me
“I need just a few minutes,” I tell my kids through clenched teeth, my voice unnaturally strained. I pick up my iPad, clicking play on an audiobook before I lock the screen and hand it off to my eight-year-old, who scampers off to his room. The voice of the Percy Jackson narrator trails behind him down the stairs as I consider his younger brothers.
Slow Start to Summer
Summer is officially here. We celebrated the last day of school on Friday, along with a birthday for my now-six-year-old. Last week was a whirlwind; field day, yearbook distribution, swim practice, birthday prep. I thought I could do a quick turnaround over the weekend—take care of the neglected laundry and dishes, plan out our summer schedule, and be ready to start summer off with a bang.
Force of Love
My children love me with a violent force.
Their energizer bunny energy
knocks me over,
their exuberance bruises.
Unsolved Mysteries: The Case of the Missing Puzzle Piece
Raleigh, NC: The puzzle was in the three-year-old’s possession for less than 48 hours when the piece went missing. After the initial excitement of finding a jumbo-sized Treasure Map puzzle in his basket on Easter morning, the box was left unopened for most of the day.
What I’m Really Saying
Dear children—
When I put down my book to tuck you in for the seventh time, I’m really saying:
I love you.
All She Can
She hears footsteps above and pauses, trying to tell which of her children are awake. Throwing the blanket off her lap and pushing her glasses back up her nose, she sets her stack of books on the table, prepares herself for the early morning quiet to give way to incessant chatter.
To My Baby, On Your Second Birthday
When you blew out the candles on your first birthday cake last year, we had no idea what your second year would hold. It’s been quite a year, a year of the unprecedented and unexpected, a year of history in the making. You won’t remember any of this, down the road. You’ll just know it from the stories we’ll tell, about that crazy year, 2020, the one where everything stopped and we stayed home for months on end.
Seven
Seven years and one day ago, we returned home after a day of tailgating and college football. Despite being very pregnant, I’d had a great time at the game, enjoying what I knew would probably be one of my last social outings for a while. Walking in the front door, I started to feel a little off. I was suddenly flushed and exhausted, weak and a little disoriented.
Moments Of Joy
“Mommy, look! I found flowers, just for you,” my six year old says, proudly showing me a small collection he’s picked from our front yard.
We’re in the early days of the pandemic, and everything feels unsure and unstable. School has been cancelled for the next few weeks and we’ve been told to stay home.
The Back Porch Salon
Little one, with golden curls falling in front of your face, blocking your eyes from view, your first haircut is very much overdue. I had planned to take you to a fun kids salon, letting you choose a little fire truck, police car, or vintage airplane to sit in while I oohed and ahhed over what a big boy you are, praying the stylist wouldn’t cut those beautiful curls too short, silently mourning another last first; my last baby; the last time I will rapidly snap photos at a first haircut.
Slow & Steady
His bare feet pad through the grass; he has discarded his shoes somewhere in the backyard. He bends down to retrieve a ball and his diaper peeks out over the waistband of his shorts. Golden curls bounce as he follows his brothers, who are running back and forth across the yard, playing a game that vaguely resembles football.
Are You On Mute?
The music teacher's enthusiastic introduction floats from the speakers of the laptop, where my first grader is supposed to be attending his fourth google meet of the day. I’m assisting my four-year-old with gluing a freight train on a large piece of paper in the other room.
So Long, Stay at Home Summer
Water from the hose is spreading across the deck and their clothes are soaked. Water pipes purchased during our back to school at home shopping are providing entertainment while the baby naps. It is the end of summer; a summer where we haven’t gone to the pool once.
Dear Legos
Dear LEGOs;
You’ve been a lifesaver during quarantine, it’s true. You’ve kept my children entertained for hours at a time, kept them creating and building. Your tiny blocks are full of endless possibilities.
Three. Two. One.
Three little boys, to wake up and get fed, teeth brushed, dressed and loaded in the minivan. Car seats buckled and we’re off to the elementary school drop off line. We pass the dancing crossing guard that always makes us smile, and pull into the carpool line.
Our Summer Village
Summer means one thing in our house - the pool is open. As soon as those gates open, that’s our favorite summer destination. It’s a sweet little neighborhood pool - though not in our neighborhood, we are pool commuters, driving twenty minutes to get there.
The First Day
It’s a moment that I’ve known was coming. A moment I felt completely unprepared for. I've thought about this day. I've known that it would be hard, that I would be a wreck. It's the start of a new chapter of our lives, a clear statement that my little boy isn’t so little anymore.