Love After Babies

Love after babies; it’s a quiet, slow, day in and day out kind of love. It’s less big romantic gestures and perfectly planned date nights and more of the small things—my husband jumping in and taking the 4am “Mommy? Mommy I need more water” call. Rearranging plans at the discovery of a flat tire so that everyone can get where they need to be on time. It’s less of fancy cocktails at restaurants and more of him grabbing my favorite bottle of wine at the store just because. Less of lazy Saturday’s with breakfast in bed and more rushing out the door to get to the Y for your six year olds basketball game.

It’s learning together how to meet the needs of these little people that rely on you, and when you are both spent and exhausted, choosing to give just a little bit more, to each other. It’s recognizing when the other is at their breaking point and granting a much needed reprieve from taking care of everyone else’s needs. It’s compromise and laughter, it’s facing the fear and wonder of parenting side by side. It’s choosing time together after early mornings and late nights and never enough sleep. It’s admitting when you are wrong, giving each other grace, and making time to enjoy each other and the family you created even in the midst of juggling calendars, bills, careers, laundry, dishes, and carpools.

Love after babies isn’t shiny and new; it’s familiar and worn, and sometimes it requires work. It’s saying “I do” over and over, long after the wedding dress has been packed away and the honeymoon euphoria lives on in a photo album. It’s saying “I still choose you, us, this” when you are woken up by a newborn all night long, when the whirlwind of life keeps you from date nights, when you face hard and scary things together.

It’s heart shaped pizzas at home with your kids on Valentines Day, a million interrupted conversations and half finished thoughts, strong cups of coffee offered to each other after sleepless nights, and still choosing to get up and dance together when your song comes on.