Ghosts in the Night

The moment I became a mother

The haunting began 

Late at night, the ghosts crowd in

The what-ifs and implausible 

(yet ever-so-slightly possible) 

scenarios elbow their way

next to the lists of dangers 

decreed at the pediatrician’s office:

grapes and popcorn (choking hazard!), 

cords on the blinds (strangulation risk!), 

bikes without helmets, sharp objects,

failure to properly baby-proof,

too much screen time,

and other perils that feed the frenzy

in moms groups: 

puffy coats that shouldn’t be worn in car seats, 

predators lurking on the other side of a screen, 

human traffickers in the aisles of Target, 

dangers real and imagined 

jostling for space with memories 

of the times I know I got it wrong,

mistakes and missed opportunities,

close calls and near disasters 

questions with no answers,

the randomness of the universe.

And under it all

my old self fights to breathe

tried to claw her way out

from under the dirt

remember who she was before 

the ghosts 

arrived,

haunting me

in the night. 

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Haunted".